If one person does not want to get a divorce, but one party in the relationship does and it is a no fault divorce, then the spouse cannot stop the divorce. This is called an irreconcilable difference and is a justification for divorce.
A spouse can prevent a fault divorce by convincing the court that he or she is not at fault. This is something that they would have to prove and it is up to the judge to decide. There are other additional ways to defend a divorce from happening may
also be a choice for some situations.
If a person who condones that a spouse is having an affair files for a divorce, the
spouse may contest the fault divorce by arguing that the spouse knew of the affair and condoned the action. This is one way for a person to defend himself or herself in court.
Connivance is the setting up of a situation so that the other person commits something to jeopardize the marriage. One type of situation to explain is if a women sets up her husband in situation where he is alone with his mistress. This is known as a set up and it is an argument that one can make in court to defend their actions.
Provocation is the inciting of a spouse to do a certain act. If a spouse is suing for divorce and claims that the other spouse abandoned them, the other spouse might defend their suit because they were provoked by the abandonment. Collusion is if a couple lives in a state where no fault divorce requires that the couple separate for a time and the couple doe not want to prolong the situation. This may lead the couple to mislead the court and pretend that one of them was at fault just to get out of the marriage.
These above defenses are not usually used for a few different reasons. Proving a defense may require witnesses and involve a lot of time and expense. Your efforts will usually bring nothing to the situation. Chances are that a court will eventually grant the divorce. A person should not have to stay married if they do not wish too. The law is designed to give people the opportunity to get out of the marriage if that is what he or she really wants to do. If you are involved in a marriage that you don’t want to be in any longer, the process can be hard to get through, but you can make a divorce really happen, and put an end to the marriage.
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Tuesday, 4 August 2009
Can one spouse prevent a divorce from happening?
How to help children through divorce
Divorce is a very hard time for everyone to deal with. It can be very hard on a person emotionally and physically as well. This is especially true for children. They have to have the proper help during this difficult time. They need to know and understand that it is not their fault and that both parents still love them very much.
Parents are going to have to work hard at putting aside their anger and hard
feelings toward each other. They have to sit down and make an arrangement that will be suitable to them and to the children. This is going too much easier and less painful than having to go into court and have them decide this for you.
You have to be able to pull together with your spouse and help the children. This is the only way to help them through this hard time. If one parent decides to go against their commitment to help their child the responsible way, you should still keep your values as a parent and help them the best that you can.
You should not keep the divorce a secret from the children. You need to tell them when you make your decision and what is going to happen. Try to give them at least a little bit of notice before the parent moves out so that the child can have the time to deal with it and ask questions. Reassure the child that both parents are still going to be there for them and that nothing has changed in that sense.
Do not put blame on anyone when you are talking to your children. Do not put down the other parent in any way. It is important that the children know that they still have two dependable and trustworthy parents to take care of them. Let them know that it was a mutual decision and that you both did your best to avoid this ending.
Make your child aware that they are not going to be able to get the both of you back together. Tell them that there is nothing that they can do to make the situation go away. Also make it clear to them where they are going to live and that they can see the other parent any time they want to. You can tell them that there may be some changes in that later on, but it is not going to affect their relationship. Give them the opportunity to ask you any questions that they may have for you both.
Giving the child the right information and not too much information is important. You do not want them to feel anxious or worry about anything that is not their concern. They have to feel comfortable with the news that you told them and give them some time to adjust to the idea.
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Thursday, 21 May 2009
The Emotions of Divorce
Should you divorce?
Are you thinking about ending your marriage? Are you bored with your life
and disillusioned with your mate? Anger over a husband.s actions,
disappointment over failed dreams, and the drag of everyday life has pushed
many people to throw in the towel on a marriage. The first thing that you
need to realize is that getting a divorce won.t solve all of life.s problems.
In fact, you will probably be faced with a whole new set of problems
because of the divorce, such as less financial stability and support. If you.re
looking for a
change of pace, there are more constructive avenues. No one
but you knows whether a divorce is the best solution for your situation. You
need to look into your heart and use logical reasoning to reach that decision.
You may be married to a man who is basically a good partner, provider, and
father. If you still love your husband and just want your marriage to change,
try marriage counseling before you talk about divorce.
Sometimes a stale and dying marriage can be brought back to life by
pinpointing the problems and working on your marriage. Even if putting the
extra effort into your marriage doesn.t make it work, at least you can go into
a divorce knowing that you gave it your best shot.
Don’t bring up divorce unless you really mean it!
As a word of caution, don.t threaten divorce unless you are actually ready to
go through with it. Using emotional blackmail to get your husband to
change can backfire on you if he decides to take you up on the threat.
Divorce is no way to work out your problems, and the threat of it will bring
no lasting changes in your husband.
It.s also best not to make the decision to divorce in the heat of anger. We all
know how emotions can swing, and reacting out of anger can leave your
reasoning abilities clouded. You may be justified in your anger, but let that
anger subside before you call your lawyer. Once you have cooled off and
looked at the situation from all angles, then make your decision.
What if you’re in love with someone else?
The same can be said about seeking a divorce because you are in love with
someone else. You can.t think clearly when you are in two relationships at
the same time. If the feelings you have for this other person are genuine, put
the relationship on hold while you deal with ending your marriage. True
love will stand the test of time. Once you have ended your marriage and
made peace with your feeling, you can see if you still want to be involved
with this other person.
Don.t look to be rescued from a bad relationship. Get out of it first so that
you can heal your emotional wounds. Then you can think about dating
again. Breaking off a love affair before you divorce is also a wise strategic
move. If your husband knows nothing about the affair, he will be less
inclined to use the divorce for revenge against you.
Get prepared for the emotional roller coaster
Going through a divorce may be one of the most stressful times of your life.
Let.s face it; just thinking about getting a divorce is the pits. There.s the
disappointment of knowing that your marriage just isn.t working. Maybe
you feel anger at your spouse for not living up to your expectations. There
may be issues of abuse, infidelity, or substance addiction that have left your
emotions raw.
If you are the one who decided to end the marriage, you may experience a
lot of sadness. You probably took the vows of forever very seriously, and
it.s hard to admit that you can.t live up to them. Sometimes you just can.t
make it work and it.s better to move on.
It.s common to feel guilty that you are putting your family through a lot of
turmoil. It helps to remember that they would still experience turmoil if you
were to stay in a bad marriage.
If your husband has served you with divorce papers out of the blue, it can be
an incredible blow to your emotions. There.s disbelief, hurt, anger, and the
never-ending question of why. Even if the decision to divorce is mutual,
there is a sadness that descends as you let go of the dream of a happy
marriage.
The emotions you feel are very real and can swing from giddiness over the
possibility of being free to the utter despair of feeling lost and alone. One of
the best things that you can do for yourself is to get the emotional support that
you need. Divorce is in essence the death of your marriage. Unfortunately,
there is not the same community support for divorcing couples, as there would
be for a death in the family. You will need to reach out to your circle of
friends and family to get the emotional support that you need.
Talk to a trusted friend or family member about what is going on. Join a
support group or talk to a counselor about what you are experiencing.
Writing in a journal can also help you to release all the pent-up emotions that
you are feeling. Eventually you will progress from merely surviving to
healing, and from there you will begin your growth as an individual. Time
allows you to heal.
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